DAMON: Previously on The Vampire Diaries...
Alaric's babies are the future of the coven.
They would have protected them in any way they could.
They're inside of you.
I totally get it if you want to run for the hills.
I'm not going anywhere, because I love you.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
Marry me.
- Yes. -(CHUCKLES)
I got Valerie pregnant. In 1863.
Julian beat her until the baby was no longer alive.
I want him dead, Damon, now.
He took her child from her. And you would side with him?
- No, what are you doing? - This doesn't represent our love.
Nora!
Our mother went out of her way to forget us forever.
As far as I'm concerned, she deserves what she gets.
You're either a Salvatore or you're one of us.
You are wrong, Julian...
-(GASPS) - JULIAN: Lily!
- Damon... - Say something.
You made your bed. Have a nice nap.
VALERIE: Stefan, you can't go.
She has Damon and Caroline.
Because she wants you.
Well, then she's gonna get me. Oh, and I, uh... I burned my Porsche,
so I kind of need to borrow your car.
I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not. - Stefan.
She already has two people that I care about.
(STEPHAN SIGHS)
I'm not gonna let her have a third, okay?
If anything happens to you,
I will rain hell down on anyone responsible.
(CHUCKLES)
Don't be so dramatic.
(STEPHAN SIGHS)
I'll be back before you know it.
Well, this it? This is the whole funeral party?
Where's your girlfriend?
Not your concern.
Trouble in paradise?
What about Julian? Where is he?
I haven't heard from either of them in days.
I sided with Lily, or did you forget?
It's just us, Beau couldn't bring himself to say goodbye.
Ah, I'm sure he just couldn't find the right words to say. (SCOFFS)
All right, let's get 'er done.
Wait, we should say something.
No, we shouldn't.
Yes, we should.
When I was a girl, I loved my mother deeply.
She loved me too, until she found out about my little siphoning problem.
If she only knew that was just one of the things that made me different.
When she turned her back on me, I thought I'd never find that kind of love again.
You proved me wrong.
Thank you, Lily.
Next.
VALERIE: You knew me at my brightest and my darkest.
No matter what my mood, you always saw the light in me.
I'll miss you, Lily.
Cream violets, you remembered.
Of course, I did.
Thank you.
We'll leave you two.
- Well. - How many times
do you get a second chance to deliver your mother's eulogy?
Good point, brother.
How's this?
(CLEARS TH ROAT)
Lily, you were a terrible mother when you were alive.
And you were a terrible mother when you were dead.
You're right, that does feel good.
Hmm.
I'm so sorry.
I promise I'll make this right.
Last year, we filled 10 crates. This year, I'm aiming for 20.
STEFAN: You know, compelling people to donate
-doesn't actually count as donating. -(SIGHS)
Wait 'till you see me. I popped this week.
I have a pot belly.
Yeah? Put on a Santa hat and you'd fit right in here.
Sure you don't need me over there?
To do what? Come to boring birthing classes?
You're chasing after an immortal jerk who basically killed your mother.
That's much more important. I can handle this.
Of course you can.
Caroline ? Still there ?
Yes, here. How are you?
I'm good. I'd be a lot better if my traveling companion
would actually stick to task instead of stopping by every single bar we pass by.
It's a pub crawl, Stef. That's the whole point.
Don't be such a Grinch, or you'll get coal in your stocking.
And that's my cue. I'll call you later.
"Hey, Stefan, did I mention Bonnie saw me mix a blood bag
"with a jar of mayonnaise at 2:00 in the morning?"
Okay, one, that was marshmallow fluff,
and two, I'm feeding for three now, so I get cravings.
Fair, why not just tell him?
Because he doesn't need to worry about the specifics
of my magical pregnancy with Alaric's babies.
Words that should probably not be spoken at that volume.
You ready to go to this class?
Now I am.
You know it's a birthing class, right, Caroline? And not SAT prep.
You sure you can handle this on your own?
If you can handle all of this while pregnant,
I can handle a fraction of it while not. Go to your class.
That was the least graphic one I could find. Study up.
(SIGHS)
So, what's it gonna be? "Uncle Stefan"? "Unkie Steffie"?
Hmm.
Oh, I got it. "Creepy dude, who hangs out with Mom, who's not Dad."
Ooh, see, the thing is, she's not their mom.
Oh, come on, it's Caroline, you think she's gonna turn those kids over
to a functioning alcoholic with no supervision? (SCOFFS)
Whatever she wants to do.
So diplomatic, you're gonna make an amazing not-father.
It's kind of your thing, isn't it? (CHUCKLES)
What's that, Damon?
Just barely not being a father.
Oh, wow.
You know, in these last few weeks, yourjokes have gotten quite sad.
You know what? You need me, little brother.
Sucks for you, but Julian's almost 500 years old
and you ain't taking him alone,
no matter how many vervain darts and stakes you have on you. (CHUCKLES)
What I need, Damon, is your actions, not your words.
Soundshke you should've brought Beau, then.
Hmm.
I'm here to help, trust me,
I've got more vervain syringes and grenades strapped to my body.
One wrong step and I'm vampire shrapnel, relax.
Eggnog?
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
MARY: Julian's not here, if that's what you're worried about.
Is he coming back?
None of your concern.
(SCOFFS)
I left a few things. I'll just grab them and be on my way.
Have you seen her?
We've spoken.
This is your fault, you know, this fracturing.
Yeah. If only I hadn't fallen in love
and placed my pregnant womb in front of Julian's boot.
(SCOFFS) Sticking to your story, are you?
It's not a story.
Even if, by some stretch of the imagination, it's not,
the timing is awfully suspect, isn't it?
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, you had over a 100 years to tell this story
and you only did once you were back in Stefan's life,
'till it served you, gained you sympathy.
I always thought you were the nice one and that you had a heart, deep down.
Guess I was wrong. Nora will blossom without you.
You appear tired.
Nora, how unexpected. What are you doing here?
Uh, I have a toy for a tot. (CHUCKLES)
- You shouldn't have. - I didn't,
actually, it was a passive-aggressive gift
for when Mary Louise came crawling back to me,
but that hasn't happened, so...
Still very generous of you.
I know.
Okay, You delivered it. (SARCASTICALLY) Yay! That's the end.
But how will the tot know the toy is from me?
I'll tell them.
And you're still not leaving.
I want to be more involved. See, I recently enrolled in classes, and--
You're going to school here? Why?
Because I was curious about college and, well, Mary Louise hated the idea, so.
Spite. That's a good reason for higher education.
Look. You clearly need help.
Not from an evil heretic who kidnapped my friend.
Are you really going to let that old news get in the way of a little charity?
And I'm evil?
Collection booth. The far one.
Like, way over there. Yeah, you see it? See?
Just so we're clear, me helping you kill Julian
is your Christmas present.
So, don't be expecting any socks or TV or anything.
Yeah, look, we gotta find him to kill him.
We will. Bonnie did a locator spell and she said Sunbury.
We're in Sunbury, so...
Oops.
I'm dry.
Pit stop.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Merry Christmas, brother. I think we found him.
Gonna be a lot of disappointed faces Christmas morning.
Yeah, well maybe if we hadn't stopped at every single bar for eggnog,
we could have done something about it.
Yeah, and maybe have been two more bodies in this pile.
- What are you trying to say? - I'm not trying to say anything.
What I am saying is maybe we should just take a little bit of a beat, you know?
I mean, look around, Julian is clearly off the proverbial rails here.
What? Since when do you think logically?
Hi. I'm level-headed Damon.
I only come out when Stefan goes a little cuckoo.
And since you're letting your mommy and "Could've been daddy" issues
drive you right now...
So, you don't think that Julian deserves to die?
I do, 100%.
But not if it means us dying.
So, I think we should just stop and think about some backup.
You are my backup. You're just terrible at it.
And if Julian's off the rails, then good. It means he's careless.
I mean, look at these wounds, they're fresh.
Which means he's obviously still in town. So, either you help me find him, or...
Don't be so dramatic, Stefan, I got this.
-(SIGHS) Pick up. -(RINGING TONE)
- BONNIE: Hello, Damon. - Ah, Bon-Bon.
Sorry to do this to you, but--
What a lovely way to be greeted.
"Hey, Bonnie, I need something."
Well, isn't it so great to feel loved and needed?
So. Julian.
Yeah, I've already done a locator spell.
Yes, yes, you did.
Which led us to this Santa-infested hellhole.
But is there, like, a way to do, like, a zoom-in spell or something
maybe a little more accurate, like an address or...
It doesn't work that way, Damon.
Right. Well, (SIGHS) here's the deal, Bonnie.
Stefan's here and he's being kind of a crazy person
who's breathing down my neck, and I was just kind of hoping
you might have some information for me, you know what I mean?
Hmm.
Actually, there might be something I can do.
- Really? - I'll text you in a bit.
Look at me. Pulling my weight.
And what if, no matter how much you plan, your water breaks at home?
"C.O.A.T." Note the color, odor, amount and time.
Keep your birth plan on hand and call your care provider.
Wow, someone really dug into that suggested reading list.
Well, yeah, I hope everyone did. It's a baby. (CHUCKLES)
I mean, each and every one of us are bringing a life into the world.
- That is a huge responsibility. -(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Encouraging words, Caroline, as always, thank you.
Okay, let's pick this back up next time.
(SIGHS AND CHUCKLES)
- Don't give me that look. - What look?
That is a "Your hormones are making you crazy
"because you're pregnant" look.
Which, I will have you know, is really just a man's attempt
to minimize the gift that our bodies bring into this world.
- Hmm. -(SIGHS)
It's A Feminist's Guide to Pregnancy, Chapter 4, Page 43.
Actually, I believe that particular quote is found in Chapter 3.
What, you think I'm not gonna read every book that you're reading?
WOMAN: Isn't he a professor at Whitmore?
MAN: Yeah, and she's a student.
What is it? Everything okay?
Yeah, it's just my vamp hearing is working a little too well, lately.
WOMAN: What do you want to bet she's doing really well in his class?
Uh-oh.
No, it's okay.
They're just having a difficult time with the subtle realities of the 21st century,
where families come in all shapes and sizes.
I think I should explain it to them.
- Caroline-- - That I have a boyfriend,
and while he may not be the father, and he may not be here--
Caroline! Caroline! Caroline! Caroline! Your eyes, your eyes.
(RIC CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS)
It's just the hormones.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
MAN: Here you go.
That's your gift? Stickers?
Did you stop by the gas station on the way over
or just fish them from the rubbish?
- Professor Dowling or Markus? - Excuse me?
You're taking Freshman English, right? Who's your professor?
Please, tell me it's Dowling and not Markus.
I can deal with difficult people.
Oh, I know you can. Which is why I'm saying take Dowling.
I don't want Professor Markus to end up dead.
I'm joking.
Sort of.
Let me guess, hot cocoa and vervain?
Close, bourbon.
I'm sorry I was harsh earlier.
I heard you listened to Valerie and that you sided with Lily against Julian.
I mean, you must be attempting to turn over a new leaf
and you clearly don't have anyone else.
Lovely, a pity friend, just what I always wanted.
College can be lonely and terrible or it can be fun.
A pity friend is still a friend.
What do you need from me?
Excuse me?
I wasn't born yesterday. It's all right.
I want to do some charity, I might as well start.
Have you heard of a town called Sunbury?
So, when do you think this denial phase of yours is gonna come to an end?
What? What are you waiting for, Stefan?
A breakdown? A teary, emotional, "I'm sorry it's all my fault."
Well, you're gonna be waiting a long time, bro.
Yeah, I just refuse to believe that you care so little
about your own flesh and blood.
Why is that? Death doesn't erase all the crappy things she did, Stefan.
If anything, it lets me care about her evenless.
Hmm.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
JULIAN: Oh.
Hello, boys. If you'll just pardon me a moment.
(GRUNTS)
What are you doing?
I seem to have misplaced my cellular telephone.
These things have a way of, you know, jumping out of your hand and just...
(IMITATES SCURRYING SOUNDS)
Scurrying off. Ah, stop looking, here it is.
Well, I feel stupid.
- Don't you feel stupid? - Mmm.
'Cause see, Stefan and I thought you had some really great maniacal plan.
But turns out you're just a drunk sorority girl
who ruins everyone's night by losing her cell phone.
Well, it has been a rough few weeks.
For all of us, I suppose, after what we went through.
-"We?" - J U LIAN: Mmm.
What do you mean by "we"?
Well, you lost your mother, and I lost the love of my life.
- She meant nothing to you. -(GLASS SHATTERS)
She meant everything to me!
(CHUCKLES)
Sorry.
Oh!
Yes.
Do you remember this sword?
When you, you know, drove it through my chest?
You didn't quite have all the pieces together, though, did you? Literally.
See, when a vampire is stabbed through the heart
with the completed sword, it acts as a magical conduit.
Transferring their spirit into this particularly nasty stone.
And the purpose of the stone is to punish vampires, like you boys.
Every sin you've committed goes into creating your own little personal hell.
You know, I spent over a 100 years trapped inside.
(SIGHS) A 100. Then Lily saved me,
and for the briefest of moments, (SIGHS) I had her back in my life.
You know, she was the only thing that kept the madness of the stone at bay.
You know, the only thing that kept me sane.
Wait. That was you sane?
Well, it was.
But, uh, now...
You know, these have been dark days for me.
So they followed him to Ridley Park, Old Saybrook and, finally, Sunbury.
They need to leave immediately.
Julian is not one who enjoys solitude. Those towns are places he used to live.
JULIAN: And then I remembered what my old life looked like...
And I... I realized...
I mean, it was a good life.
I was surrounded by the people
-that I cared about. -(DOOR OPENS)
- My friends. -(DOOR CLOSES)
Two, two...
(JULIAN CHUCKLING)
Raphael, here, I met in Florence in the 1600s.
He was a painter. A terrible painter, though, but a painter.
Oh! Dirty Robin,
I found in a convent in Massachusetts in, uh, 1802, was it? Hmm.
She loved those nuns.
And Seth, over there,
I rescued you from a claim jumper in California during the gold rush.
And Xi Nguyen, I met you last week, actually, in Portland.
Now, I know you two have been following me for quite some time, right?
I hope it wasn't for nefarious reasons.
Well, it depends. ls killing you nefarious?
All right, guys, listen. I'm sure we all miss Lily.
Well, most of you. You guys in particular.
But I'm sure, wherever she is, she's looking up and thinking,
"I wish those boys wouldn't fight."
I'm not going anywhere.
- Good. - Hmm?
- Good. - DAMON: Fine, Plan B.
Booze-soaked, flammable costumes.
Can I have one of the boy toys?
Of course, you can. You can be anything you want.
Don't let society tell you differently.
What? Surprised I'm not massacring the leukemia patients?
It's still early.
Christmas was always my favorite holiday.
When I was growing up, it was much different than all this.
I would've been happy with a hoop and a stick.
But still, being surrounded by your loved ones...
This looks just like her.
(SIGHS)
- What? - You and Mary Louise broke up.
She made her choice. It was a bad one.
- But-- - No "buts," okay?
You need to move on and become your own person.
You can only do that if you're living in the present, not the past.
Which means you need to stop thinking about her
and talking about her, okay?
She's dead to you.
Am I'.>
Can we talk?
(GROANS ANGRILY) I was two seconds away from tearing their heads off.
They were jerks, they deserved it.
(SIGHS) I've needed this all day.
Yeah, you and me both.
(GAGS SOFTLY)
Do you think this is okay? For the babies?
- Caroline... - I'm serious.
What if blood is like alcohol? What if it's bad for them?
Look, if it's good for you, how can it be bad for them?
I don't know. But you don't know, either, because there's no studies on this,
there's no books. There--
-(SIGHS) - Look, Caroline, you're doing a great job.
Would you stop saying that?
Yeah, but you are.
I mean, do you realize how happy you've made me?
I mean, this is a miracle.
You've turned my life around.
I said stop! (GROWLS)
(GASPS)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I have to go.
-(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) - Caroline! (SIGHS)
Well?
Well, what?
Are you going to apologize?
Am I going to apologize? For what?
For telling me that you would marry me
and then throwing the ring I gave you back in my face.
Oh, you mean the ring that Julian gave you?
Is that what's bothering you?
He's the reason Lily is dead.
No, he's not.
Julian is just as upset as any of us. Valerie's story is responsible.
You still believe him. He's a liar, why can't you see that?
If I say he's a liar, can we go back home?
I'm tired of fighting.
(SIGHS)
So am l.
I'm done, Mary Lou.
Okay? It's over.
You've been wanting this for a long time, haven't you?
Almost like you've been planning it all along!
- You're paranoid. - Am I?
It took you no time to enroll in classes,
move into a dorm, make friends with our enemies.
Have you been following me?
I've been following someone.
But she certainly hasn't been acting like my girlfriend.
I wanted to do something different with you, actually.
Yeah, but you're too scared to go out into the world,
too scared to change.
You think I'm scared to play Santa for some pathetic humans?
When was the last time you even did any charity?
I don't know.
Hmm?
Probably when I started dating you.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Okay. So we reload, we figure out a way to separate him from his friends--
We do no such thing. We get in the car and we go home.
What are you talking about? He's building a small army back there.
- He's up to something. - He's getting wasted with his friends.
You're delusional. Trust me. That? That is a hornet's nest,
and take it from an expert, you do not want to kick it.
You, of all people, should not be the one to give up.
You're the reason that he's alive and she isn't.
What kind of backwards-ass logic is that?
Because we would've killed Julian the minute he showed up into our lives.
But no, you wanted to punish Lily with a long con, didn't you?
- She punished herself with a short stake. -(SCOFFS)
You know, for weeks, I've been watching you, I've been trying
to catch even the slightest bit of regret on your face.
- Regret for what, Stefan? - She was dying, Damon.
How difficult would it have been to say something nice?
Well, I didn't want to lie to the woman.
All she wanted was forgiveness. And you practically spat in her face.
She didn't deserve my forgiveness.
Why? Because she made some mistakes?
Or is it because she didn't choose poor you over Valerie?
Giving her a hall pass like always, her little angel.
You acted like a spoiled little brat, coward.
You had a chance to make things right, and you still do.
Road trip's over, brother. You wanna go back and risk it?
Go for it, I'm going home.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Please, tell me this is the "Julian is dead" call.
I wish, I'm headed home. Damon bailed on me.
And here I was, looking forward to leaving all this behind me.
He thinks I'm overreacting.
Any reaction is appropriate when it comes to what he's done to us.
God, I am sick of everyone giving this monster a pass.
I should've gone with you. We could've ended this.
We still can. Have you seen Mary Louise?
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
I've been here all day.
You'd think that would earn me better service!
I think you've had enough.
You have no idea how poor your timing is.
You sure about that? You look like you could use a friend.
Things with Nora didn't quite work out, did they?
I would hold your tongue if you value its existence.
And I would not make threats when there's a cloaked heretic behind you.
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS) Payback's a bitch.
Stay with her. And make sure she's unconscious until Julian's dead.
(DOOR OPENS)
I guess it didn't go well.
She called me a charity case.
(SIGHS) Why don't I get you a tissue?
Oh, it's all right. I used one of your hideous tops.
Which is now your hideous top. (CHUCKLES)
Can I ask you what might seem like a mean question?
Please, fire away. It's not like I'm in a fragile state or anything.
What do you see in her?
Aside from the fact that she looks like a blonde Angelina Jolie.
She's loving, protective, kind.
But just to you.
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFLES) That's fair. She does always think of me first.
Maybe I'm spoiled or old-fashioned, but...
It's nice having that one person who doesn't need anything from you.
Who just loves you
and thinks you're the most amazing, beautiful girl in the whole world.
You know?
Maybe, maybe you don't.
I don't need someone to tell me I'm pretty.
(CHUCKLES)
Nobody needs it. That doesn't mean it doesn't feel good to hear it.
Thank you for today. You're a very kind person and...
Beautiful, even if you do wear hideous tops.
Hmm.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
I guess I was wrong.
What?
You and your friends are not kind at all.
(GROANING)
I'm sure there are places that would have loved those as a donation.
Back so soon?
That tends to happen when I'm threatened.
Where is she?
I'm not exactly sure who "she" is.
Don't play dumb. I got your brother's text message.
I was told to come alone, I am here alone. Now, where is Mary Louise?
Stefan kidnapped Mary Louise? Ballsy.
I just spent two hours, cramped, in a small metal tube
flying across the country to be here. It was hell.
Hmm.
But that is just a fraction of the hell that this sword will put you in
if I don't get her back.
Look, Jules. You and I? We've got no beef, okay?
You didn't kill my baby, and I don't blame you for Lily's death.
That was her own stupid fault.
Kindly do not speak that way about your mother.
Let's just stick with "Lily." The "mother's" incidental.
Right, I forgot, you don't care about your mother.
Look at you, not caring, as you burn her clothes.
Attempting to erase every trace of her existence.
I needed space in my closet.
See, I always knew that her love for you would get her killed.
It was toxic.
No, it was nonexistent.
Hmm, it's easier for you to think that way, isn't it?
Because then you don't have to take any responsibility for her death.
She killed herself.
Because she couldn't turn her back on you.
Funny, 'cause I would've had no problem turning mine on her.
(GRUNTS)
I don't know what your hell will be, but I hope she's there.
-(GROWLS) -(GRUNTS)
Hi, Mom.
(SIGHS)
I just realized that this is going to be my first Christmas without you.
That sucks.
I still got you something. Two somethings, actually.
I will spare you the details of how
because, honestly, I'm sick of talking about it.
But it's happening, I'm pregnant.
I used to picture us having this conversation.
It looked different, obviously.
I was a human carrying my own children.
And you were...
Well, alive.
I know they're not mine.
But they're still my responsibility, you know? And I want to...
I have to do this right.
And I have no idea what I'm doing. (CHUCKLES)
(SOBS)
All I want to do is just sit on our kitchen counter
while you burn our dinner and ask you a million questions.
God, I miss you.
- I thought you ran away. -(JULIAN CHUCKLES)
In my own house?
I'm twice your age. I could take both of you.
Well, you can certainly try.
(ALL GRUNTING)
(CHUCKLES)
(GROANING)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTING)
I would have killed you on sight if it weren't for your mother.
I respected her.
(GRUNTING)
Clearly the feeling wasn't mutual.
(BOTH GRUNT)
(GROANING)
Stefan!
No!
Now, I'll run.
(GROANING)
(PANTING)
Damon.
(DOOR OPENS)
Who's there?
Oh, my God.
Damon wanted me to let it go.
I should've let it go. I couldn't...
She was your mom, Stefan.
And if you think it's easy to let something like that go,
take it from a girl who just got back from her mom's grave,
it's... It's not.
(SNIFFLES)
Let's figure out a way to save your brother.
(BREATH ES HEAVILY)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS) She's not answering. You know, we need to call Valerie. Stefan?
He's not gonna make it in there.
Yes, he will.
That stone is punishment for every bad thing you've ever done.
This is Damon.
I don't even want to know what he's going through.
(SOLDIERS SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
(GUNSHOTS)
(SCREAMS)
(DAMON GROANING)
(SOLDIERS SCREAMING)
(GUNSHOTS)
Hey, he can survive this.
NORA: Even if he can, he'll be different.
Just like you.
(GRUNTS)
%GR0ANs) %GAsPs)
CAROLINE: Stefan.
ENGLISH-SDH
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